Immense Satisfaction

Immense Satisfaction

By Milan Rakić

I have hours of despair extreme,
Hopeless grief, deceit and anguish;
I have hours when I sweetly dream,
Lustfully desire and blissfully languish.

I have hours chaste, humble and fine,
When my mind with pure feelings brim,
And my soul begins to hum divine
And faithful praise, hope and hymn.

Yes, my soul is like old boxes that lie
On the doorstep of a church wherein
Modest gifts are left by each passer-by
For the mollified saints and next-of-kin.

For them, each generation always
Its alms, great or small, did bring,
And love or hate, reproach or praise,
A smile or poison and its bitter sting.

Mixed blood now runs my veins thro’,
I groan and sing, I curse and celebrate,
Fearless of penalty I tread boldly, too,
A winding path and all roads straight!

Despair, grief, misery? Empty talk!
On earth, no such power may befall
That in my soul may tarnish or block
The immense satisfaction of feeling all!

Translation from the Serbian by:
Ljiljana Parović

Silno zadovoljstvo

Ja imam časove dugog očajanja,
Beznadežne tuge, obmana, i jada;
Ja imam časove kada se slatko sanja
I požudno želi i blaženo strada.

Ja imam časove čedne, krotke, smerne,
Kad čistotom trepte misli moje mlade,
I u mojoj duši pobožne i verne,
Zašumore himne, pohvale i nade.

Jest, duša je moja ko kutije stare,
Što u svetom hramu na dovratku stoje,
Gde prolaznik svaki spušta skromne dare
Za smirene svece i za bližnje svoje.

Pokolenje svako, veliku il malu,
Spustilo je u nju milostinju koju,
Ljubav ili mržnju, pogrdu il hvalu,
Osmeh ili otrov i žaoku svoju.

Sad kroz žile moje struje krvi razne,
Ja ropćem i pevam, ja kunem i slavim,
I koračam smelo, bez straha od kazne,
Krivudavom stazom i putima pravim!

Očajanje, tuga, beda? Prazne reči!
Kad na zemlji više nema moći te
Da u mojoj duši pomuti il spreči
Silno zadovoljstvo, osećati sve!

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