Everyday Lament

Everyday Lament

By Augustin Tin Ujević

How hard it is to be weak,
How hard it is to be alone,
And to be old, yet young!

And to be weak and feeble,
And all alone in the world,
And restless, and desperate.

And to tread roads,
And to be trodden in the mud,
With no shine of a star.

With no bright star of fate,
That shone o’er the cradle
With rainbows and illusions.

O, Lord, remember, Lord
All brilliant promises
That you have made to me.

O, Lord, remember, Lord
Both love and victory
And laurel wreaths and gifts.

Know now that your Son travels
Thru the world’s dreary valley
O’er the thorns and stones,

That he roams aimlessly,
And his feet are bleeding,
And his heart is wounded.

And his bones are tired,
And his soul is sorrowful,
And he is alone and forlorn.

And he’s no sister or brother,
And he’s no father or mother,
And he’s no darling or friend.

And he has nobody
But a thorn prick in his heart
And a flame in his hand.

And he travels all alone
Under the obscure azure,
Across the dim open sea,

And who shall he complain to,
When nobody listens to him,
Not even his fellow rovers.

O, Lord, bitter is thy word
And it is stuck in my throat
And it is eager to pour out.

That word is the stake
And I must shout it out
Or I shall flare up and burn.

May I be a bonfire in the hills,
May I be a breath in the flames,
If I cannot be a cry from the roofs!

O, Lord, may an end be
Made of this piteous roving
“Neath a non-hearing canopy.

For I need a mighty word,
For I need an answer,
And love or holy death.

Bitter is the absinthe wreath,
Dark is the poison grail,
I crave a sweltering July.

For it is painful to be weak,
For it is painful to be alone
(if only I could be strong,

If only I could be loved),
It is painful, oh, so painful,
To be already old, yet so young!

Translation by: Ljiljana Parović

Svakidašnja jadikovka

Kako je teško biti slab,
kako je teško biti sam,
i biti star, a biti mlad!

I biti slab, i nemoćan,
i sam bez igdje ikoga,
i nemiran, i očajan.

I gaziti po cestama,
i biti gažen u blatu,
bez sjaja zvijezde na nebu.

Bez sjaja zvijezde udesa
što sijaše nad kolijevkom
sa dugama i varkama.

– O Bože, Bože, sjeti se
svih obećanja blistavih
što si ih meni zadao.

O Bože, Bože, sjeti se
i ljubavi, i pobjede
i lovora i darova.

I znaj da Sin tvoj putuje
dolinom svijeta turobnom
po trnju i po kamenju,

Od nemila do nedraga,
i noge su mu krvave,
i srce mu je ranjeno.

I kosti su mu umorne,
i duša mu je žalosna,
i on je sam i zapušten.

I nema sestre ni brata,
i nema oca ni majke,
i nema drage ni druga.

I nema nigdje nikoga
do igle drača u srcu
i plamena na rukama.

I sam i samcat putuje
pod zatvorenom plaveti,
pred zamračenom pučinom,

i komu da se potuži?
Ta njega nitko ne sluša,
ni braća koja lutaju.

O Bože, žeže tvoja riječ
i tijesno joj je u grlu,
i željna je da zavapi.

Ta besjeda je lomača
i dužan sam je viknuti,
ili ću glavnjom planuti.

Pa nek sam krijes na brdima,
pa nek sam dah u plamenu,
kad nisam krik sa krovova!

O Bože, tek da dovrši
pečalno ovo lutanje
pod svodom koji ne čuje.

Jer meni treba moćna riječ,
jer meni treba odgovor,
i ljubav, ili sveta smrt.

Gorak je vijenac pelina,
mračan je kalež otrova,
ja vapim žarki ilinštak.

Jer mi je mučno biti slab,
jer mi je mučno biti sam
(kada bih mogao biti jak,

kada bih mogao biti drag),
no mučno je, najmučnije
biti već star, a tako mlad!

Tin ujević

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s